[joep]

Of course they are!

[HoodPin]

I always enjoy these :

The Washington Post's 2010 Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stop bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
And the winners are:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokémon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

[HoodPin]

[Eric S]

Some excellent humor; the Washington Post contests elicit some very creative and intelligent humor!

Re the bear sign, very funny! When I was backpacking solo in the wilderness of Alaska many years ago I had a sleigh bell on my pack. One day I came across another hiker that noticed it and said "I see you're wearing a dinner bell."

[HoodPin]

Originally Posted by Eric S

.........Re the bear sign, very funny! When I was backpacking solo in the wilderness of Alaska many years ago I had a sleigh bell on my pack. One day I came across another hiker that noticed it and said "I see you're wearing a dinner bell."

Too funny!

When I helped chaperone a Boy Scout canoe trip in the Adirondaks some years ago, our Guide told the same bear story from the sign to our boys. He also told them another story while we went through our packs trying to eliminate stuff and lighten loads. He suggested each Scout only needed to bring a single underwear with them for the 5 day trip. Of course a number of the boys scoffed at his suggestion. He said on Day 2, they would simply wear the underwear backwards. On Day 3, they would turn the underwear inside out. Then backwards again on Day 4. After a pause, one of the boys finally asked about Day 5. He said on Day 5 you simply switch underwear with your tent mate.

[Dr K]

A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the oasis, only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand, selling ties.

The Taliban asked, "Do you have water?"

The Jewish man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie? They are only $15."

The Taliban shouted, "Idiot! I do not need an over-priced tie. I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first!

"OK," said the old Jewish man, "It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the ice-cold water you need. Shalom."

Cursing, the Taliban staggered away over the hill.

Several hours later he staggered back, almost dead & said, "Your f****ing brother won't let me in without a tie!"

[HoodPin]

^

[Lupin..the..3rd]

LMAO! Good one Peter!

[The_Empress]

Actually, there isn't any "Mensa Invitational," but The Washington Post does have a wonderfully clever humor contest called The Style Invitational. And two Invitational contests from 1998 are the sources of many of the neologisms in the list above. (But not all: For example, "decafalon" isn't a one-letter change from "decathlon," is it? Or "caterpallor"?)

Much better to see the the current Invitational -- every week at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational. We've had more than 600 contests since the ones above! The Style Invitational is published every Saturday in The Post's Style (features) section, and every Friday afternoon at about 3:30 Eastern time. There are neologism contests regularly, and lots of other sources of humor as well.

In fact, we just did the change-one-letter contest a few weeks ago, except that you had to start with a word beginning with Q, R, or S. Here are some of the top winners (results printed Aug. 28):

Republicant: "Government can't solve your problems -- elect us so we can prove it." (Evan Hadley, Potomac, Md.)

Quinceañerda: A teen's party with piñatas, dungeons and dragons. (Christopher Lamora, Guatemala)

Quickstand: The one-nighter that sinks a marriage. (Craig Dykstra, Centreville, Va.)

Buick-tempered: Unexcitable. (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)

Refiance: To replace your subprime boyfriend when your interest starts to vary. (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.)

Crapacity: The size of one's attic. (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)

Rococoa: Haute chocolate. (Nick Curtis, Alexandria, Va.)


See the rest of the winners and learn how to enter the current contest at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational. Or you can become a fan of "Washington Post Style" on Facebook (go to facebook.com/wapostyle ) and you'll get a link to the Invitational when it's posted. I hope you become a regular reader and maybe even a regular entrant.

Best, The Empress of The Style Invitational

The Washington Post

[Trak Ratt]

Originally Posted by The_Empress

Actually, there isn't any "Mensa..."

Boy do we know that!!!

Bet you drove a chickster